Aquarius
_11/30/2010
I hovered like a fetus, looking up at the light until I couldn’t hold my breath anymore. My toes stretched to find the bottom and I pushed myself back up. The surface broke . Water fell back to itself. I rubbed the chlorine out of my eyes and faced the real world again. He sat near the edge of the pool, smiling at me. He had only just begun to be able to do it effortlessly again.
I had promised him I would end it, the friendship and the affair. I promised him I would stay faithful. I lied.
“You need a towel?” he asked.
“No. I’m going back down.”
He laughed.
I held my breath. It felt like when I told her we were finished. I told her she wasn’t as important to me as my husband and kids. I had to hold my breath to lie to her like that.
I found the bottom again. I sat for a while, fingers inside myself, cheating on him. I felt like she felt inside. She’s down here with me, my Aquarius. But this affair lasts only as long as I can hold my breath.
I hovered like a fetus, looking up at the light until I couldn’t hold my breath anymore. My toes stretched to find the bottom and I pushed myself back up. The surface broke . Water fell back to itself. I rubbed the chlorine out of my eyes and faced the real world again. He sat near the edge of the pool, smiling at me. He had only just begun to be able to do it effortlessly again.
I had promised him I would end it, the friendship and the affair. I promised him I would stay faithful. I lied.
“You need a towel?” he asked.
“No. I’m going back down.”
He laughed.
I held my breath. It felt like when I told her we were finished. I told her she wasn’t as important to me as my husband and kids. I had to hold my breath to lie to her like that.
I found the bottom again. I sat for a while, fingers inside myself, cheating on him. I felt like she felt inside. She’s down here with me, my Aquarius. But this affair lasts only as long as I can hold my breath.
